Speaking of feeling myself again reminds me of something I shared with my beautifully pregnant friend Courtney the other day. Often at work, I have a conversation with a new Mom that breastfeeding IS very hard and noone really talks about that before you have a baby. Most Moms are completely surprised at this challenge and sometimes quit because of how hard it is. I always tell Moms what someone had told me....after 6 weeks, it gets so much better!! With that, and far much worse is the emotional turmoil some Moms go through after they have their baby. This is what I told Courtney, and I have no worries sharing it with other new Moms too. It took me 11 WEEKS to stop sobbing (once or twice a day) every day after I had Norah. It took 10 months to have my body feel back to normal, if not better due to breastfeeding and having to cut out dairy from my diet for Norah. With Connor, I felt better faster but it still took about 6 months to feel like, "I got this" with the challenges of two young kids. I also got my body back a little faster but that's because I was beating myself up for NOT being what I was at 10 months at like 3 months!! The mind is a horrible, horrible thing!!! Anyways, I was never diagnosed with post-partum depression or even a candidate for it. This to me was just normal, hormonal changes in my body after pregnancy. Courtney had mentioned that she thinks it was a little harder for me because my family was so far away. Having family near certainly does help to heal the soul and just have an extra set of hands, and a sane mind to give some advice. Either way, I think it's very important to share my experience with other Moms when the opportunity arises. I had no intention to scare Courtney (and I hope I didn't), but just to say, "hey, don't worry, it's ok if you feel this way". I can say all this now because I am totally out of the funk and feeling great in many aspects of my emotional/physical self. Not to say I don't have hard, bad days, but that will come.
So on the positive side, everything is going very well these days!! Fall is THE BEST time of the year so that always makes me very happy and takes us all on fun fall adventures! I have a happy, singing, smart, cute 2 year old and a happy, sitting, CRAWLING (way before his sister did), smiley, adorable 6 month old boy. My two kids really seem to enjoy each other's company and have started to play together, hug and kiss each other, and sort of interact! :) I could not feel more blessed, loved, and happy. BUT the moral of the story today is that it takes awhile to get there. I think social media always make it seems that we all have it together and that our lives are perfect. Obviously we don't post pictures of the tough times or the bags under our eyes!! So....it gets better....it always does and I can't wait to be alongside my best friend Courtney, whenever she needs someone to tell her that, as she crosses into the hardest, BEST transition she will ever go in...a MOM!!! :)
Great post :) All so very true!
ReplyDeleteIt always seems like the "other moms" have it all together, they're not ever crying or ripping their hair out, but secretly I think everyone goes through it! But it DOES get easier, and even on the hardest days it is so worth it! xoxo