My cry for help!!

HELP! My baby's sleep patterns are destroying my personality..and maybe my marriage!!

Not really on the marriage part, but we may be headed there if this doesn't improve.

SO...our sweet, laid back, happy, boy came into this world an amazing sleeper. I even blogged about it (my first mistake). Then things started to slowly change as they usually do with growing babies. He started becoming more aware of his world, had colds, growth spurts, teething, all the things that can affect sleeping, and that we can blame poor sleep on. It got to a point one night, when he was healthy, that he was waking up every 40 min, and crying the minute I left his side! I knew it was time for sleep training.

SO...me and sleep training don't see eye to eye. I don't like any part of letting my baby scream and scream in pools of their own tears and saliva. It wasn't good for Norah because she was/is such a screamer that it just sounded scary. Around 10 months, she eventually slept through the night and now consistently sleeps 12 hours. On the other side, I don't want to do it because Connor is such a happy guy who barely cries. It makes me feel like a terrible person to intentionally make the happy guy sad. But after the 40 minute thing, I was desperate.

I did some research, read the healthy sleep habits book again, and found a blog from a seemingly normal Mom who appeared to have the same story as me. The first night I did it it went so well. He initially cried for 20 minutes. During that time, I searched the house for a leftover bottle of rum from 2 years ago as well as some kind of fruity drink to throw it in. When I couldn't find anything to put it in, I cleaned my house. Note: I don't drink...like ever anymore, so I wasn't about to drink rum straight up. Anyways, he fell asleep, woke up a bit later, cried for about 5 minutes, then fell back asleep before it was time to nurse him again. It was a success and I really don't remember what happened on night two, but it was good too. Of course the easy baby gets it real fast, right?

Well then came October where sickness came to our family in a fury. Norah went through strep, para-influenza, a nasty rash all over her body, a day in pediatric emergency, and an allergy to the whole penicillin family. I was really sick and am still under investigation, but it turns out I had mono. So imagine, this whole sob lack of sleep story with a case of mono attached! Ugh. And then Connor luckily, just had a little bit of the intensity that Norah and I had, but still enough to change ALL of our sleep habits since the first of October. I have tried a few times to sleep train but I never want to leave the kid to cry if something else is happening that I don't know about.

SO...it continues? Well because of all this craziness, Kevin has really been jumping in in the middle of the night to help with Connor. Middle of the night, Kevin usually takes him downstairs and Connor will just sleep on him for hours and I sleep quietly upstairs by myself. It's selfishly nice for me but I know is a terrible habit for Connor and is causing a usual rested Kevin to be very tired and to compromise his own immune system. So here's where I joke about our marriage. We are just two very tired individuals who mutter things to each other in between a crying baby and a screaming toddler. Our DVR is loaded with folders and folders of all kinds of shows that we haven't watched in weeks. We sit down ready to watch an episode of Parenthood, Modern Family, or Dexter (among other things) and we make it 10 minutes in and both fall asleep until we hear Connor's cries on the monitor.

Besides all of that, I'm just not myself. I'm cranky and tired, I feel old and think I look older, I'm less patient with my kids and less kind, and my husband usually gets the worst of all those sides of me. I need help! I know that what we are doing with Connor is all the wrong things. A copy of this book sits on my nightstand, I'm usually too tired to read it (irony!!) and I am educated enough to know that I'm not doing any of the right things to create good sleep habits for my baby.

Connor did just get his very own crib, as he's been sleeping in a pack and play in our room for the last 7 months, so I'm thinking this will solve all our problems...or not. No, in the one day we've had it, I lay him down, he flips over, stands up, and falls headfirst into the crib rails. Sigh....

So please, I would love for some advice. Maybe you can send me a private Facebook message. If anyone has been where I am and knows how to get out of it, I need some help. I know I'm unique in what has happened, but I know there's many overtired Moms and Dads out there with their own situations. I know that being sick and anxious, and apparently having mono only makes this worse, but I need to be me again. I need to sleep...and I need a rested husband as well to have fun with again.

HELP!!!!

It gets better...

Hello Again! :) This time it's only been a few months since my last post which is a big improvement! I have been feeling sick this week so I've taken some time to sit on the couch and not do much while my kids are napping. My pulmonary doctor asked me if I was pregnant yesterday at my check up as I just have a little stomach bug....I wanted to say, are you crazy lady?!?!?!?! I have more than I can currently handle at the moment and I'm finally feeling back to myself again!! But that's what happens whenever a woman has a stomach bug...the pregnant card always comes out!

Speaking of feeling myself again reminds me of something I shared with my beautifully pregnant friend Courtney the other day. Often at work, I have a conversation with a new Mom that breastfeeding IS very hard and noone really talks about that before you have a baby. Most Moms are completely surprised at this challenge and sometimes quit because of how hard it is. I always tell Moms what someone had told me....after 6 weeks, it gets so much better!! With that, and far much worse is the emotional turmoil some Moms go through after they have their baby. This is what I told Courtney, and I have no worries sharing it with other new Moms too. It took me 11 WEEKS to stop sobbing (once or twice a day) every day after I had Norah. It took 10 months to have my body feel back to normal, if not better due to breastfeeding and having to cut out dairy from my diet for Norah. With Connor, I felt better faster but it still took about 6 months to feel like, "I got this" with the challenges of two young kids. I also got my body back a little faster but that's because I was beating myself up for NOT being what I was at 10 months at like 3 months!! The mind is a horrible, horrible thing!!! Anyways, I was never diagnosed with post-partum depression or even a candidate for it. This to me was just normal, hormonal changes in my body after pregnancy. Courtney had mentioned that she thinks it was a little harder for me because my family was so far away. Having family near certainly does help to heal the soul and just have an extra set of hands, and a sane mind to give some advice. Either way, I think it's very important to share my experience with other Moms when the opportunity arises. I had no intention to scare Courtney (and I hope I didn't), but just to say, "hey, don't worry, it's ok if you feel this way". I can say all this now because I am totally out of the funk and feeling great in many aspects of my emotional/physical self. Not to say I don't have hard, bad days, but that will come.

So on the positive side, everything is going very well these days!! Fall is THE BEST time of the year so that always makes me very happy and takes us all on fun fall adventures! I have a happy, singing, smart, cute 2 year old and a happy, sitting, CRAWLING (way before his sister did), smiley, adorable 6 month old boy. My two kids really seem to enjoy each other's company and have started to play together, hug and kiss each other, and sort of interact! :) I could not feel more blessed, loved, and happy. BUT the moral of the story today is that it takes awhile to get there. I think social media always make it seems that we all have it together and that our lives are perfect. Obviously we don't post pictures of the tough times or the bags under our eyes!! So....it gets better....it always does and I can't wait to be alongside my best friend Courtney, whenever she needs someone to tell her that, as she crosses into the hardest, BEST transition she will ever go in...a MOM!!!  :)

Do I really need to start every blog with "it's been awhile"???

But seriously...IT'S BEEN AWHILE!! The Little Lowery is a wonderful BIG sister and we have a new little guy in the family! Who by the way, is already 4 months old!!!

Connor Padraig Lowery (who looks nothing like this anymore) arrived on March 28th, 2012. I would tell you how much he weighed and how long he was, but I actually don't remember this information anymore. WOAH, 2nd child syndrome!?!?!  I do know he was 8 1/2 ish lbs and he came into the world incredibly fast! We were so happy to have a healthy, handsome baby boy join our family.

Connor is the happiest, most relaxed, chill baby of all time. Well ok, our family. Norah was a tough-y and had colic, reflux, and a milk allergy. She would scream and scream every afternoon into the evening and didn't sleep much. Connor for the most part sleeps 6-8 hours straight at night and quietly goes back to sleep after nursing. He also from day one has been a self-soother and we can just put him down for a nap and bedtime and just walk away. Unfortunately my arm muscles aren't as strong as when I had to pick up the car seat Norah was sleeping in, and forcefully swing it back and forth all hours of the night!!

He also smiles...

 ALL THE TIME!!!

Being a Mom of two means having so much more love in my life, but of course so much more work. Now that I'm over those first few months though, I'm just loving every crazy, insane moment. There is so much to look forward to. Norah and Connor are already starting to interact with each other and it makes me giddy to think about when they start hugging each other, laughing with each other, talking with each other, yelling at each other, hitting each other, pinching each other...oh wait a minute....

Norah is a fantastic big sister and is very much a "Mommy's Little Helper" around the house, especially with Connor.

I'm glad I waited as long as I did to update my blog, as I know I wouldn't be so happy and relaxed a few months ago. It's been a tough few months with an excellent summer break and I'm looking forward to the crazy road ahead with The Little Lowerys!!!

:)

Getting Closer....

Holy smokes, I'm 30 weeks pregnant! I know I said in my last post that time flies but when you count weeks throughout pregnancy, they really just go so fast. I can't believe in less than 2 months, we will be a family of 4, and I could not be more excited as well as ready to not be pregnant anymore!!

I had a check up with my midwife today and as she greeted me she said, "So you are at the point that you absolutely hate being pregnant and wish your due date was tomorrow, right???" Could not have said it better myself! She continued to say that the second time around seems to always be rougher and when you are 30 weeks, you feel as if you are 40 weeks with the same aches and pains and overall "done" feeling. This pregnancy has been so completely different and as everything was almost roses with Norah, this time I'm really just feeling so negative and so "over it".

I'm also having a very tough time with my energy and motivation levels. Nap times are usually my time to run around the house and get all kinds of chores accomplished in a quick amount of time. When nap time occurs now, I either nap as well or just find it really hard to do anything but sit down for a bit. Now everyone that I speak to recommends me doing this, even if I don't bring it up, but it's very hard to not feel guilty about it when I'm a stay at home Mom and feel that my job is to take care of my child AND my house! I also have animals that drive me absolutely insane and make things more complicated. During today's nap, I actually did a little organization and cleaning before I sat down here, but as I'm trying to do these things the dog is begging to go outside, the kitties are begging for treats, and then I'm cleaning up cat puke!! Annoying!!!!

I know I'm venting today which is usually not what I want this blog to be about but I always feel that putting out the frustrations of being a Mom can only help another Mom who is equally feeling as guilty as I am to be feeling this way. AND I can not wait to meet my new little boy, I'm just done with the gestational part!!! :)

I will end on a positive here and show you some pictures of Miss Norah visiting her new friend Baby Declan! She has been able to visit him a few times now and sort of get a preview of what's to come. Thank you Kelly and Tim!!! This last visit she decided to jump in his bassinet while I was holding him and then got wrapped up and coddled by her Auntie Courtney!

I really love the look on Norah's face here! I think it describes perfectly how she is feeling about Baby #2!! Uh oh!!!!  ;)

A New Year...

Time really does fly and it especially flies once you become a parent. This is really the time in life where you want things to SLOW DOWN and yet it all seems to go faster. Our little Norah just seems to be getting bigger and bigger every day. I swear this morning that she had so much more hair than when I put her to bed the night before! I can't believe what a little person she is becoming and how much independence she already craves. Pretty soon, it will seem as if she doesn't need me for anything..and gets annoyed that I'm even trying to help her! Good thing our little son will be coming in a few months (another time flying realization) and we will be starting it all over again!!! :)

I hope everyone had a great holiday season. We spent a great week in New Jersey with Kevin's family and were able to have a few "Mommy and Daddy Dates" thanks to the help of Grandma and Grandpa Lowery. That is really so important to have and something that will probably be even fewer and farther in between once the baby comes. We had a very relaxing New Year's Eve back at home where we opened our Christmas presents and spent some time cleaning up the house and playing with all of Norah's new toys.

I just can't believe that we had a baby in 2010 and now we will be welcoming a new baby in 2012! Although this was a little sooner than planned, we couldn't be more excited to have a family of 4 soon and to be having a little boy to experience all kinds of new things with! Of course, I have high hopes for my self for the new year as well as my family. Basic things.. better health, better organization, better financial planning, etc. But I really just want to try to take on the challenges of having a newborn and a toddler and all of the emotional turmoil that comes right after you give birth! I'm ready to not be pregnant anymore (no offense little guy, it just seems like it's all I've been doing these days) and I'm ready to have more energy back and less hormones!!! If anything a new year gives us all hope for change and a fresh start at our life. A way to make up for things we didn't quite previously get right the first time around. Parenting has a lot of those moments and I guess just being an adult does that to you too! I hope everyone stays strong to your "resolutions" and has a great 2012!

Happy New Year!